Teenage son has fat ugly g/f - what to do??

GregH · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 1

My 16 y/o son recently introduced me to his first girlfriend. And she
looks like trailer trash - I mean Jerry Springer material - fat and
ugly!!!

I am sure she's very nice to him (sexually). But I am afraid I am
going to disown him if this is the person he'll marry or procreate
with (God forbid). It's heartbreaking to think about it...

My son is smart, good looking, hard working. A great catch for any
girl.

I know that if I disapprove, he'll cling to her more (cognitive
dissonance). What should I do? Play cool and APPROVE?

Confused.

Archived from group: alt>parenting>solutions

dragonlady · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 2193

In article ,
GregH wrote:

> My 16 y/o son recently introduced me to his first girlfriend. And she
> looks like trailer trash - I mean Jerry Springer material - fat and
> ugly!!!
>
> I am sure she's very nice to him (sexually). But I am afraid I am
> going to disown him if this is the person he'll marry or procreate
> with (God forbid). It's heartbreaking to think about it...
>
> My son is smart, good looking, hard working. A great catch for any
> girl.
>
> I know that if I disapprove, he'll cling to her more (cognitive
> dissonance). What should I do? Play cool and APPROVE?
>
> Confused.
>

Celebrate that your son has learned to see beyond appearance, and try to
get to know the girl behind the appearance?

However, even if it turns out you don't like the PERSON (as opposed to
the appearance), letting him know that would be a mistake. Whoever your
children date -- with VERY few exceptions -- my advice is to welcome
them warmly. Get to know them. Recognize that if your child cares
about them, there is undoubtedly something worthwhile.

Your assumption that this is just about her giving out is incredibly
insulting, both to her AND to your son -- I can't decide which of them
should be more insulted.
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

Nan · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 1336

On Tue, 26 Jul 2005 16:35:34 -0500, GregH wrote

>What should I do?

You should stop writing troll posts.

>Confused.

Indeed.

Nan

Catherine Woodgold · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 1506

GregH (GregH@nomail.no) writes:
> I know that if I disapprove, he'll cling to her more (cognitive
> dissonance). What should I do? Play cool and APPROVE?

There is no need for you to approve or disapprove. I think
it's up to your son to decide who he likes or loves.
All you need to do is be friendly and courteous.
--
Cathy Woodgold
http://www.ncf.ca/~an588/par_home.html
We are all Iraqis now.

TG · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 3

snipped

why are all you feeding the troll???

dragonlady · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 2193

In article , TG wrote:

> snipped
>
> why are all you feeding the troll???

nothing better to do? It's too hot to go outside?

Didn't catch that it was undoubtedly a troll the first time through;
sorry
--
Children won't care how much you know until they know how much you care

herroyalhighnessprincessc · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 15

Chookie wrote:
> The easiest way to solve this problem is to get a sharp stick and poke your
> eyes out.

*snort!* I had to put my hand over my mouth and run downstairs so my
laughing would not wake DS.

PC

Chookie · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 1444

In article ,
GregH wrote:

> My 16 y/o son recently introduced me to his first girlfriend. And she
> looks like trailer trash - I mean Jerry Springer material - fat and
> ugly!!!

> I know that if I disapprove, he'll cling to her more (cognitive
> dissonance). What should I do? Play cool and APPROVE?

The easiest way to solve this problem is to get a sharp stick and poke your
eyes out.

--
Chookie -- Sydney, Australia
(Replace "foulspambegone" with "optushome" to reply)

"In Melbourne there is plenty of vigour and eagerness, but there is
nothing worth being eager or vigorous about."
Francis Adams, The Australians, 1893.

Me Myself and I · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 209

"Chookie" wrote in message

> The easiest way to solve this problem is to get a sharp stick and poke
your
> eyes out.

[hehehehehe]

Mogget · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 227

In message , R. Steve Walz
writes

> Women should
>ally themselves with ALL their several lovers' various women and then
>collectively honor and esteem each other as sisters, and their men
>lovers as brothers together.

That's a great idea.

Maybe we should all get together and have a celebration to collectively
honour and esteem each new STD into the family.
--
Mogget

R. Steve Walz · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 1906

Richard wrote:
>
> If you wanna be happy
> For the rest of your life,
> Never make a pretty woman your wife,
> So from my personal point of view,
> Get an ugly girl to marry you.
>
> A pretty woman makes her husband look small
> And very often causes his downfall.
> As soon as he marries her
> Then she starts to do
> The things that will break his heart.
> But if you make an ugly woman your wife,
> You'll be happy for the rest of your life,
> An ugly woman cooks her meals on time,
> She'll always give you peace of mind.
>
> Don't let your friends say
> You have no taste,
> Go ahead and marry anyway,
> Though her face is ugly,
> Her eyes don't match,
> Take it from me she's a better catch.
---------------
Wasn't that Benjamin Franklin???
Steve

R. Steve Walz · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 1906

Tommy wrote:
>
> GregH wrote:
>
> > My 16 y/o son recently introduced me to his first girlfriend. And she
> > looks like trailer trash - I mean Jerry Springer material - fat and
> > ugly!!!
> >
> > I am sure she's very nice to him (sexually). But I am afraid I am
> > going to disown him if this is the person he'll marry or procreate
> > with (God forbid). It's heartbreaking to think about it...
> >
> > My son is smart, good looking, hard working. A great catch for any
> > girl.
> >
> > I know that if I disapprove, he'll cling to her more (cognitive
> > dissonance). What should I do? Play cool and APPROVE?
> >
> > Confused.
>
> Is your son black? If so, that's pretty much the norm for them. (They get a
> 300 pound White woman and they're as happy as punk in a peter patch.
>
> If he's White, tell him DON'T DO THAT! Explain to him that if he does fat
> girls, he won't be able to get any from the good looking girls.
>
> If he were my son, I would set some rules down. NO GIRLS OVER A SIZE 5!
-----------------------
That's because you don't have any, and can't catch one.
Steve

Roger · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 237

In one age, called the Second Age by some,
(an Age yet to come, an Age long past)
someone claiming to be Tommy wrote
in message :

>dragonlady wrote:

>> Celebrate that your son has learned to see beyond appearance, and try to
>> get to know the girl behind the appearance?

>Bad idea! That may sound okay, but in reality you're judged by the company
>you keep.

No, *you* judge by the company.

The rest of us tend to be more rational.

>If the guy is doing fat girls, than he has no chance at
>cheerleaders. Parents should explain this to their children.

And you know this .. how?

>> Your assumption that this is just about her giving out is incredibly
>> insulting, both to her AND to your son -- I can't decide which of them
>> should be more insulted.

>Why else would he date a fat girl?

Because she's a nice person and interested in the same things as he
is?