need your input

lilyaipg · Joined: 15 Nov 2007 Posts: 92

hi ladies,

this is about tan.he will be 7 next month and is currently in 1st
grade....
He is a smart as a whip but he is such a dreamer.....and has problems
paying attention to class..
He also forgets something everyday.......it takes him forever to get
ready in the morning, so that I started dressing him , because
otherwise
we would never be able to make it...or we'd have to get up at 4am..
So, his teacher says, when he wants to and is paying attention , he
can do anything....he's really good in math etc.

Ok, so she gave me a number for a dr. because I have asked her
to...but
talking to a friend , who said you know there are lots of really sick
kids going to those drs...She said she would not take him because he'd
get a feeling that something is abnormal about him, too.

What I really want is something to help him with concentration and his
attention span......but I hurt thinking about him feeling 'abnormal'
going to a dr......where I am really sure he is a very smart kid (I
know going to a dr. does not make him not-smart)........he just has
really colorful fantasies and is extremely creative...unfortunately
this
doesn't help him in school....

What do you think? I guess, my feeling is to help him, just not sure
how I should go about it...
Would love to hear your input
thanks
lily

Archived from group: alt>infertility>parenting

agent starling · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 271

On Feb 21, 6:54 am, lilya...@yahoo.com wrote:
> hi ladies,
>
> this is about tan.he will be 7 next month and is currently in 1st
> grade....
> He is a smart as a whip but he is such a dreamer.....and has problems
> paying attention to class..
> He also forgets something everyday.......it takes him forever to get
> ready in the morning, so that I started dressing him , because
> otherwise
> we would never be able to make it...or we'd have to get up at 4am..
> So, his teacher says, when he wants to and is paying attention , he
> can do anything....he's really good in math etc.
>
> Ok, so she gave me a number for a dr. because I have asked her
> to...but
> talking to a friend , who said you know there are lots of really sick
> kids going to those drs...She said she would not take him because he'd
> get a feeling that something is abnormal about him, too.
>
> What I really want is something to help him with concentration and his
> attention span......but I hurt thinking about him feeling 'abnormal'
> going to a dr......where I am really sure he is a very smart kid (I
> know going to a dr. does not make him not-smart)........he just has
> really colorful fantasies and is extremely creative...unfortunately
> this
> doesn't help him in school....
>
> What do you think? I guess, my feeling is to help him, just not sure
> how I should go about it...
> Would love to hear your input
> thanks
> lily

Tan sounds like a very bright young man and it doesn't sound like he
has a problem. My niece is the same way she would rather be somewhere
else than in school. She is very smart and could go far if she would
pay attention etc....Tan sounds like he is just a very creative boy
and he can daydream because he doesn't have to work hard in school.
Just sounds like he needs a challenge? Have they tested him as far as
his intelligence? I am sure they do stuff differently in Germany than
they do in America. Go with your gut instincts because if you don't
feel you should take him to the doctor i wouldn't. Your gut is never
wrong. Hope everything goes well. I wished i could help you more.

Clarice

lilyaipg · Joined: 15 Nov 2007 Posts: 92

Thanks Clarice,

you know I just read a bit about kids development etc. and also short
attention span...
The thing is none of the other criterias fit him....he is not
aggressive, he makes friends easily and is really a sweet and easy
going guy..very loving and lovable..
He draws like a pro.....he has drawings of jet-planes, amusement
parks, some sport centers, kids play centers where each floor has some
other activity etc., all things that he wants to build..
and looking at those drawing anyone would have a hard time believing
this came from a 6 year old..

BUT he just came home from school and he forgot his things in school
AGAIN, so he can't do his homework AGAIN.....arghhhhh

So, I talked to him, very calmly and now he's upset in his room......I
suggested making a list of things that he has to check before leaving
class and he agreed..let's see if that helps with the forgetting
things...

ugh...I did make the appointment with a kids psychologist for 3/14 ...
and they may check his intelligence there...lets see if we can help
him before then on our own......
Any suggested exercises for concentration etc.
I'll try to find things on the net.....would be thankful for
suggestions. BTW there is no TV in our home mon-fri......so, that is
not it.

lily

MareCat · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 693

wrote in message @e25g2000prg.googlegroups.com...
>
> ugh...I did make the appointment with a kids psychologist for 3/14 ...
> and they may check his intelligence there...lets see if we can help
> him before then on our own......
> Any suggested exercises for concentration etc.
> I'll try to find things on the net.....would be thankful for
> suggestions. BTW there is no TV in our home mon-fri......so, that is
> not it.

I can't see why going to the doctor for just one appointment would hurt. How
would that make Tan feel "abnormal"? I mean, the doctor will probably just
ask Tan (and you) some questions and ask him to do some exercises while
discreetly observing him. You could try it out and see what the doctor
thinks after one visit. If you don't feel that continuing to see the doctor
would be beneficial at that point, then just don't go anymore.

One of our nieces (who's also 7) has had problems in school because she
can't stay still and pay attention in class. Her parents haven't really done
much about it, other than talk to her.

My SIL is a child psychologist. I should ask her what she thinks about your
situation.

Good luck! Keep us posted!

Mary

Jamie Clark · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 5208

Tan sounds pretty normal to me. Tons of kids forget stuff and dawdle while
getting dressed. That's pretty much what kids do. I think if you take him
to the doctor, the likelyhood is that he will prescribe medication, and
while I don't have a problem medicating kids who need it, it doesn't sound
like Tan needs to be medicated.

He's super creative, he's in his head a lot, but we know that he is capable
of focusing and concentrating when HE wants to. So the trick would be to
find some tools and tricks to teach him to WANT to be focused at school.
And things like you said, lists to help him remember what he needs to take
to school, what he needs to bring home, etc.

In regards to getting dressed...how would he react if you took him to school
in his pajamas? If that would embarras him, then perhaps give that a try.
He needs to learn the direct and natural consequences of dawdling while
getting dressed...which is, we leave for school at 7:30am, dressed or not.
Having eaten breakfast or not. Etc.

If that method wouldn't work for whatever reason, then perhaps setting up a
reward chart system, where in order to earn TV or computer time, or special
treats, he has to complete each task every morning (brush teeth - put on a
gold star, get dressed - put on a gold star, eat breakfast - put on a gold
star, gather backpack and other necessary school things - put on a gold
star, etc.). Only when he has put on all his gold stars every day, can he
have those special treats that he loves. He has to earn them.

I think you need to find a way to teach him responsibility for himself.
It's not an easy task, but a really common issue, and something that most
parents work on from the age of 5-20! LOL!

I remember when I was about 10, I lost about 7 jackets in one year. I'd
take them off and leave them places and have no idea where I'd left them.
My folks about killed me. I was a total ditzy kid, head in the clouds all
the time. At the same time, I was in gifted and talented classes at school.
I could read and comprehend at a high school level while in elementary
school, yet I never really learned my X Tables or to tell time on an analog
clock. There was talk that I was "hyperactive" (this was the 70's, before
ADHD), but I was never put on medication. But I do remember feeling crushed
and upset and different when I head that word being used to talk about me.

Somehow I learned the basic life skills and then some, and now, no one would
describe me as ditzy or "head in the clouds." I'm extremely focused and
organized, while still being creative.
--

Jamie Clark

wrote in message @i12g2000prf.googlegroups.com...
>
> hi ladies,
>
> this is about tan.he will be 7 next month and is currently in 1st
> grade....
> He is a smart as a whip but he is such a dreamer.....and has problems
> paying attention to class..
> He also forgets something everyday.......it takes him forever to get
> ready in the morning, so that I started dressing him , because
> otherwise
> we would never be able to make it...or we'd have to get up at 4am..
> So, his teacher says, when he wants to and is paying attention , he
> can do anything....he's really good in math etc.
>
> Ok, so she gave me a number for a dr. because I have asked her
> to...but
> talking to a friend , who said you know there are lots of really sick
> kids going to those drs...She said she would not take him because he'd
> get a feeling that something is abnormal about him, too.
>
> What I really want is something to help him with concentration and his
> attention span......but I hurt thinking about him feeling 'abnormal'
> going to a dr......where I am really sure he is a very smart kid (I
> know going to a dr. does not make him not-smart)........he just has
> really colorful fantasies and is extremely creative...unfortunately
> this
> doesn't help him in school....
>
> What do you think? I guess, my feeling is to help him, just not sure
> how I should go about it...
> Would love to hear your input
> thanks
> lily

Lesley · Joined: 22 Jan 2008 Posts: 2

On Feb 21, 7:54 am, lilya...@yahoo.com wrote:
> hi ladies,
>
> this is about tan.he will be 7 next month and is currently in 1st
> grade....
> He is a smart as a whip but he is such a dreamer.....and has problems
> paying attention to class..
> He also forgets something everyday.......it takes him forever to get
> ready in the morning, so that I started dressing him , because
> otherwise
> we would never be able to make it...or we'd have to get up at 4am..
> So, his teacher says, when he wants to and is paying attention , he
> can do anything....he's really good in math etc.
>
> Ok, so she gave me a number for a dr. because I have asked her
> to...but
> talking to a friend , who said you know there are lots of really sick
> kids going to those drs...She said she would not take him because he'd
> get a feeling that something is abnormal about him, too.
>
> What I really want is something to help him with concentration and his
> attention span......but I hurt thinking about him feeling 'abnormal'
> going to a dr......where I am really sure he is a very smart kid (I
> know going to a dr. does not make him not-smart)........he just has
> really colorful fantasies and is extremely creative...unfortunately
> this
> doesn't help him in school....
>
> What do you think? I guess, my feeling is to help him, just not sure
> how I should go about it...
> Would love to hear your input
> thanks
> lily

Hi Lily! Remember me? lol. Your story about Tan reminds me of my
godson, now 9 yrs old. He is very intelligent,sweet, and a good kid.
BUT he has problems w/finishing his school assignments, in class and
homework, and is very forgetful. He has lost many things, like his
Ipod for example, and mom was not happy about that, lol. The teachers
at school suggested getting him tested and he does have ADD. ADD is
different from ADHD. My son, Erik has ADHD. He is hyperactive and
can't sit still long enough to write his name.

I see you wrote that you are taking Tan to a child psychologist, but
actually a diagnosis of ADD or ADHD needs to come from a child
development neurologist. I have been gaining knowledge in this area
due to Erik, much like we all have become so knowable about IF and ART
here. Did you talk to Tan's pedi about this? Erik's pedi referred me
to the nuerologist. Of course, they all talk medication. Blah! We're
trying karate class for now.

You listen to your heart, you have a mother's instinct to do what's
right for your child and don't let anyone ever talk you out of it!

Take care and best wishes! Let me know how it goes.

-Lesley

Tammy · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 24

On Feb 21, 7:54ï¿½am, lilya...@yahoo.com wrote:
> hi ladies,
>
> this is about tan.he will be 7 next month and is currently in 1st
> grade....
> He is a smart as a whip but he is such a dreamer.....and has problems
> paying attention to class..
> He also forgets something everyday.......it takes him forever to get
> ready in the morning, so that I started dressing him , because
> otherwise
> we would never be able to make it...or we'd have to get up at 4am..
> So, his teacher says, when he wants to and is paying attention , he
> can do anything....he's really good in math etc.
>
> Ok, so she gave me a number for a dr. because I have asked her
> to...but
> talking to a friend , who said you know there are lots of really sick
> kids going to those drs...She said she would not take him because he'd
> get a feeling that something is abnormal about him, too.
>
> What I really want is something to help him with concentration and his
> attention span......but I hurt thinking about him feeling 'abnormal'
> going to a dr......where I am really sure he is a very smart kid (I
> know going to a dr. does not make him not-smart)........he just has
> really colorful fantasies and is extremely creative...unfortunately
> this
> doesn't help him in school....
>
> What do you think? I guess, my feeling is to help him, just not sure
> how I should go about it...
> Would love to hear your input
> thanks
> lily

I agree with Lesley. I have three that have ADD and one that has ADHD.
We see a nuerologist every 3-4 months. My three with ADD had/have no
behavior issues, but it can take them an hour to get dressed.
Sometimes is can take forever at dinner. They were capable of doing
the school work, but getting them to focus on the task and not what
was happening around them was/is the challenge. I fought medication
for them, but when their grades started suffering we had to do
something. They are on very low doses of medication that they take in
the morning before school, but the small amount really does the trick.
We took two of them off the meds over the summer. They did fine, but
once school started back they started to fall behind, so we put them
back on medicine and now they are doing great. My oldest three are all
in honors classes. Two are in 6th and the other is in 7th. We still
battle about leaving stuff at home and remembering to turn in the
homework that they did the night before. But for my family having the
evaluation and choosing to go the medication route was the right this.
I still have soem family members that disagree about the medicines,
but they are the ones who have to battle ADD/ADHD everyday.

Tammy

Jewelbar · Joined: 28 Sep 2007 Posts: 137

Hi Lily!
It doesn't sound like he's ADD or anything. He sounds so much like me it's
not funny! I LOVED drawing, and was everybody's friend, but I found it sooo
difficult to be organised. Lists help a lot! Encourage list making.

The problem with people like us, is that it takes a lot of energy to be
organised in all ways at all times. A LOT of energy. It can be quite
draining, so it's not something you can simply "fix" over night. It takes a
lot of time, and developing habits and strategies. I'm really glad you want
to help him develop those strategies. I suppose my parents just dealt with
me, but never really had any plan to help me.

Perhaps you can have a check list by the door with things that need to be
done before school. When you see him wandering off and doing his own little
thing, you can say, "look at the check list" and there might be a picture of
a shower, or tooth brush, etc. This puts him back in charge of getting
ready, and helps loosen his reliance on you. It also stops him from feeling
like he's butting his head against a brick wall, and pushing back, because
constant reminding comes to feel like nagging after a while. Be clear about
goals and what's happening next, and how long he has to do it. I don't agree
with Jaime to let him embarrass himself. It wont teach him how to get ready
on time, even if it motivates him to want to be ready on time, just make him
upset and frustrated because he cant do it.

I remember getting to school and finding out that I was meant to be on a bus
for Art Camp. I'd totally forgotten, and been out of the room when the
teacher reminded the class. My parents had not thought twice (my brother or
sister would NEVER have forgotten), and I didn't end up going (this was in
highschool, year 12 I think). I was so miserable. Very unfair. But that
really didn't change anything. Oh, and I remember turning up to school
photos in the wrong uniform. You might think "How can my parents let me do
this?" but I suppose they expected me to remember, and I liked dressing
differently, because I liked being different. Although a little heads up
about the camp would have been nice. The year before when I went to that
camp I didn't pack a towel. I suppose I expected them to have towels there,
but everyone else brought a towel, and I'd been in charge of my own packing.
I am fiercely independent so, whilst looking at a check list was (and is)
great, and I enjoyed it, and my God I needed it, being reminded by my
parents was not appreciated, and was considered an intrusion.

I drove my teachers to distraction. I must admit, if my daughter was like me
I'd tear my hair out too, but she doesn't seem to be so far (as far as you
can tell with an 18 month old) because she's so attentive and doesn't stare
into space unless she's very tired.

My parents called me the absent minded professor! It's a personality type,
of which there are always extremes. I hope you develop a plan and work with
him to achieve small regular goals, please don't embarrass him. If he's like
me, he'll seem to have a thick skin, but be really soft and sensitive
inside.
Good luck!
:0)
Jade.

wrote in message @e25g2000prg.googlegroups.com...
> Thanks Clarice,
>
> you know I just read a bit about kids development etc. and also short
> attention span...
> The thing is none of the other criterias fit him....he is not
> aggressive, he makes friends easily and is really a sweet and easy
> going guy..very loving and lovable..
> He draws like a pro.....he has drawings of jet-planes, amusement
> parks, some sport centers, kids play centers where each floor has some
> other activity etc., all things that he wants to build..
> and looking at those drawing anyone would have a hard time believing
> this came from a 6 year old..
>
> BUT he just came home from school and he forgot his things in school
> AGAIN, so he can't do his homework AGAIN.....arghhhhh
>
> So, I talked to him, very calmly and now he's upset in his room......I
> suggested making a list of things that he has to check before leaving
> class and he agreed..let's see if that helps with the forgetting
> things...
>
> ugh...I did make the appointment with a kids psychologist for 3/14 ...
> and they may check his intelligence there...lets see if we can help
> him before then on our own......
> Any suggested exercises for concentration etc.
> I'll try to find things on the net.....would be thankful for
> suggestions. BTW there is no TV in our home mon-fri......so, that is
> not it.
>
>
> lily
>

Jamie Clark · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 5208

"Jewelbar" wrote in message $0$12542$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au...
> Hi Lily!
> It doesn't sound like he's ADD or anything. He sounds so much like me
> it's not funny! I LOVED drawing, and was everybody's friend, but I found
> it sooo difficult to be organised. Lists help a lot! Encourage list
> making.
>
> The problem with people like us, is that it takes a lot of energy to be
> organised in all ways at all times. A LOT of energy. It can be quite
> draining, so it's not something you can simply "fix" over night. It takes
> a lot of time, and developing habits and strategies. I'm really glad you
> want to help him develop those strategies. I suppose my parents just dealt
> with me, but never really had any plan to help me.
>
> Perhaps you can have a check list by the door with things that need to be
> done before school. When you see him wandering off and doing his own
> little thing, you can say, "look at the check list" and there might be a
> picture of a shower, or tooth brush, etc. This puts him back in charge of
> getting ready, and helps loosen his reliance on you. It also stops him
> from feeling like he's butting his head against a brick wall, and pushing
> back, because constant reminding comes to feel like nagging after a while.
> Be clear about goals and what's happening next, and how long he has to do
> it. I don't agree with Jaime to let him embarrass himself. It wont teach
> him how to get ready on time, even if it motivates him to want to be ready
> on time, just make him upset and frustrated because he cant do it.
>
> I remember getting to school and finding out that I was meant to be on a
> bus for Art Camp. I'd totally forgotten, and been out of the room when the
> teacher reminded the class. My parents had not thought twice (my brother
> or sister would NEVER have forgotten), and I didn't end up going (this was
> in highschool, year 12 I think). I was so miserable. Very unfair. But that
> really didn't change anything. Oh, and I remember turning up to school
> photos in the wrong uniform. You might think "How can my parents let me do
> this?" but I suppose they expected me to remember, and I liked dressing
> differently, because I liked being different. Although a little heads up
> about the camp would have been nice. The year before when I went to that
> camp I didn't pack a towel. I suppose I expected them to have towels
> there, but everyone else brought a towel, and I'd been in charge of my own
> packing. I am fiercely independent so, whilst looking at a check list was
> (and is) great, and I enjoyed it, and my God I needed it, being reminded
> by my parents was not appreciated, and was considered an intrusion.
>
> I drove my teachers to distraction. I must admit, if my daughter was like
> me I'd tear my hair out too, but she doesn't seem to be so far (as far as
> you can tell with an 18 month old) because she's so attentive and doesn't
> stare into space unless she's very tired.
>
> My parents called me the absent minded professor! It's a personality type,
> of which there are always extremes. I hope you develop a plan and work
> with him to achieve small regular goals, please don't embarrass him. If
> he's like me, he'll seem to have a thick skin, but be really soft and
> sensitive inside.
> Good luck!
> :0)
> Jade.

Tho goal isn't to embarrase him, but to teach him natural consequences, just
like you learned when you missed the bus to Art Camp and didn't get to go.
I'm sure you were heartbroken, but you learned that lesson and probably kept
better track of your camp schedule after that.

Jewelbar · Joined: 28 Sep 2007 Posts: 137

But that's my point, it didn't make any difference. Unless you put in
systems to remember things, then it doesn't work. For a lot of kids, it
might, especially if they're doing it because they're just being little
shits, but for the absent minded, it really doesn't work, simply because
they are not doing the behaviour on purpose any way. Its like whipping
someone that cant read without showing them the alphabet first.
Anyway, the paediatrician can set Lili's mind at ease at her appointment,
and perhaps they can develop ways of improving his organisational skills
then.
:0)
Jade.

"Jamie Clark" wrote in message @comcast.com...
> "Jewelbar" wrote in message
> $0$12542$afc38c87@news.optusnet.com.au...
>> Hi Lily!
>> It doesn't sound like he's ADD or anything. He sounds so much like me
>> it's not funny! I LOVED drawing, and was everybody's friend, but I found
>> it sooo difficult to be organised. Lists help a lot! Encourage list
>> making.
>>
>> The problem with people like us, is that it takes a lot of energy to be
>> organised in all ways at all times. A LOT of energy. It can be quite
>> draining, so it's not something you can simply "fix" over night. It takes
>> a lot of time, and developing habits and strategies. I'm really glad you
>> want to help him develop those strategies. I suppose my parents just
>> dealt with me, but never really had any plan to help me.
>>
>> Perhaps you can have a check list by the door with things that need to be
>> done before school. When you see him wandering off and doing his own
>> little thing, you can say, "look at the check list" and there might be a
>> picture of a shower, or tooth brush, etc. This puts him back in charge of
>> getting ready, and helps loosen his reliance on you. It also stops him
>> from feeling like he's butting his head against a brick wall, and pushing
>> back, because constant reminding comes to feel like nagging after a
>> while. Be clear about goals and what's happening next, and how long he
>> has to do it. I don't agree with Jaime to let him embarrass himself. It
>> wont teach him how to get ready on time, even if it motivates him to want
>> to be ready on time, just make him upset and frustrated because he cant
>> do it.
>>
>> I remember getting to school and finding out that I was meant to be on a
>> bus for Art Camp. I'd totally forgotten, and been out of the room when
>> the teacher reminded the class. My parents had not thought twice (my
>> brother or sister would NEVER have forgotten), and I didn't end up going
>> (this was in highschool, year 12 I think). I was so miserable. Very
>> unfair. But that really didn't change anything. Oh, and I remember
>> turning up to school photos in the wrong uniform. You might think "How
>> can my parents let me do this?" but I suppose they expected me to
>> remember, and I liked dressing differently, because I liked being
>> different. Although a little heads up about the camp would have been
>> nice. The year before when I went to that camp I didn't pack a towel. I
>> suppose I expected them to have towels there, but everyone else brought a
>> towel, and I'd been in charge of my own packing. I am fiercely
>> independent so, whilst looking at a check list was (and is) great, and I
>> enjoyed it, and my God I needed it, being reminded by my parents was not
>> appreciated, and was considered an intrusion.
>>
>> I drove my teachers to distraction. I must admit, if my daughter was like
>> me I'd tear my hair out too, but she doesn't seem to be so far (as far as
>> you can tell with an 18 month old) because she's so attentive and doesn't
>> stare into space unless she's very tired.
>>
>> My parents called me the absent minded professor! It's a personality
>> type, of which there are always extremes. I hope you develop a plan and
>> work with him to achieve small regular goals, please don't embarrass him.
>> If he's like me, he'll seem to have a thick skin, but be really soft and
>> sensitive inside.
>> Good luck!
>> :0)
>> Jade.
>
> Tho goal isn't to embarrase him, but to teach him natural consequences,
> just like you learned when you missed the bus to Art Camp and didn't get
> to go. I'm sure you were heartbroken, but you learned that lesson and
> probably kept better track of your camp schedule after that.
>

lilyaipg · Joined: 15 Nov 2007 Posts: 92

first of all : THANK YOU so much for giving your opinions ladies...
don't know where to start, I can't answer individually, because we had
a real bad night with mey (stuffy nose) and didn't sleep at
all.....and then went back to bed and got up at noon!...so, I just got
up, and have soooo much to do...and I may not get to answer later at
all..

so reading your replies (several times) really really helped me and
made me feel a bit better..7 coats in one year Jamie? LOL
Anyways, first I am definitely not going to let them give him
meds........my intuition says 100% NO!
And thinking about it, he *can* sit for hours and hours and work on
his projects, his drawings......he can be a whole day in his room ,
come up with 40 pages etc.
So, definitely not hyper or anything.....
And thinking about tan , I think Jade's perspective really hit home
with me......
So, my plan is right now, to do the lists, the list at the door is a
great idea...I will also get a timer, which can assist us in the
mornings...5min to dress, 10min breakfast etc.

Second, I will take him to that appointment(at least once) like Mary
said and just see what they say.......take the things I like and leave
the rest.....see if they offer us tools to help him.

Again, reading your stories, now I am pretty sure that he is
ok......he is just an absent minded type.....who needs a bit
support....I'll try the gentle approach first...because he is
extremely soft and sensitive...
Yesterday after our talk , which was really calm,,, and I was not mad
or anything.....he cried himself to sleep Sad

I think he has to learn cause/effect but in his case I know he doesn't
do it on purpose.......I have a feeling punishment will not help at
all....because he doesn't want to be late in the morning yet his mind
starts wandering and he still doesn't have his socks /pants etc.
So, not having him breakfast etc....think it won't work.....

Anyway, thank you all so much.....this has been more helpful than I
can say with my limited english...

And Lesley , of course I remember you...the dr. I am taking him to is
someone his teachers dr.friend recommended us......I really wouldn't
know, so this will be a start I guess...thanks for your input.

have a great day ladies.....I have to go...we're all a mess after last
night.

lily

JP · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 592

Hi Lily,

It sounds like Tan just needs to focus. I'm sure you're doing everything
you can to keep him organized. We're always in a mad rush before the bus
comes, and unless we get everything together the night before, Paul
always forgets something too. Does his teacher think he needs
medication? Or maybe the doctor she recommended has some exercises that
would help him concentrate?

I wouldn't worry about Tan thinking he has a problem- kids don't
necessarily think along those lines.

Good luck to you and Tan. It must be frustrating for him too.

JP

lilyaipg@yahoo.com wrote:
> hi ladies,
>
> this is about tan.he will be 7 next month and is currently in 1st
> grade....
> He is a smart as a whip but he is such a dreamer.....and has problems
> paying attention to class..
> He also forgets something everyday.......it takes him forever to get
> ready in the morning, so that I started dressing him , because
> otherwise
> we would never be able to make it...or we'd have to get up at 4am..
> So, his teacher says, when he wants to and is paying attention , he
> can do anything....he's really good in math etc.
>
> Ok, so she gave me a number for a dr. because I have asked her
> to...but
> talking to a friend , who said you know there are lots of really sick
> kids going to those drs...She said she would not take him because he'd
> get a feeling that something is abnormal about him, too.
>
> What I really want is something to help him with concentration and his
> attention span......but I hurt thinking about him feeling 'abnormal'
> going to a dr......where I am really sure he is a very smart kid (I
> know going to a dr. does not make him not-smart)........he just has
> really colorful fantasies and is extremely creative...unfortunately
> this
> doesn't help him in school....
>
> What do you think? I guess, my feeling is to help him, just not sure
> how I should go about it...
> Would love to hear your input
> thanks
> lily

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