I don't want to go back to work.......(baby ment)

agent starling · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 271

Well i am 2 weeks postpartum and am already dreading going back to
work. Asher is my last baby and i don't want to leave him!! We can't
afford to put him in daycare it's too expensive, my daycare the one i
work at doesn't have a baby room until they are one year old.
Although i love being a preschool teacher i just cry at the thought of
going back. Family watching him is out of the question my mom used to
watch Alexis so i could go back to work after she was born but now my
dad is ill and mom can't do it. I figure if i went back to work i
would be just working for someone to watch him!! (makes no sense!) I
guess my question is how do the SAHM do it financially??? Just
curious. Tim is going to lose his job this summer but i figure i
might be able to go back part time then and then Tim could watch him
for a while??? But then Tim needs to be out for a while looking for a
job then!! He will get i forget how many weeks severance while also
drawing unemployment too then when he is off. I just dont know what
to do. Help!!

Clarice

Archived from group: alt>infertility>parenting

KC · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 64

How about a part time evening job while Tim is home to watch the kids? Just
a thought. I'm not really thrilled with the idea, but it's a possibility.
The drawback is that it would really cut back on the time you got to see the
older kids since they are in school during the day.

A garage sale and selling some unwanted things on ebay could raise a bit of
money too.

KC

"agent starling" wrote in message @q77g2000hsh.googlegroups.com...
> Well i am 2 weeks postpartum and am already dreading going back to
> work. Asher is my last baby and i don't want to leave him!! We can't
> afford to put him in daycare it's too expensive, my daycare the one i
> work at doesn't have a baby room until they are one year old.
> Although i love being a preschool teacher i just cry at the thought of
> going back. Family watching him is out of the question my mom used to
> watch Alexis so i could go back to work after she was born but now my
> dad is ill and mom can't do it. I figure if i went back to work i
> would be just working for someone to watch him!! (makes no sense!) I
> guess my question is how do the SAHM do it financially??? Just
> curious. Tim is going to lose his job this summer but i figure i
> might be able to go back part time then and then Tim could watch him
> for a while??? But then Tim needs to be out for a while looking for a
> job then!! He will get i forget how many weeks severance while also
> drawing unemployment too then when he is off. I just dont know what
> to do. Help!!
>
>
> Clarice

Me Myself and I · Joined: 12 Dec 2007 Posts: 27

When we decided I was going to be a SAHM we realised we wouldn't be able to
do it with the mortgage we had, so we downsized our house. The house is 1/2
as small but it means our mortgage payments are very small. So that's the
way we were able to survive financially.

I really hope you can sort something out as there is nothing worse than
being stuck in a situation you don't want to be in. I also agree that it
doesn't make much sense to work if all you are doing is paying for the
childminder.

Other money saving things are to cut back on your sky/cable subscription by
knocking off something, like movies etc. Cancel newspaper subscriptions and
just by the paper a couple of times a week.

Grow more of your own veg like potato's pumpkin and tomato's.

Find a cheaper ISP.

Cancel you mobile phone contract and go to pre-pay.

And finally sell anything you no longer need for Asher on trade me/E bay,
this way you will at least to recouping some money back.

--
Pip, in NZ

My girls :
DD1 Jasmine - 5 weeks early - March 02 - 4lb 12oz
Still as small as a peanut but as smart as a whip!

DD2 Abby - 8 weeks early - Feb 05 - 3lb 14oz
Two and a half and still a terror!!

"Yes you can drive me insane just by talking to me!"

"agent starling" wrote in message @q77g2000hsh.googlegroups.com...
> Well i am 2 weeks postpartum and am already dreading going back to
> work. Asher is my last baby and i don't want to leave him!! We can't
> afford to put him in daycare it's too expensive, my daycare the one i
> work at doesn't have a baby room until they are one year old.
> Although i love being a preschool teacher i just cry at the thought of
> going back. Family watching him is out of the question my mom used to
> watch Alexis so i could go back to work after she was born but now my
> dad is ill and mom can't do it. I figure if i went back to work i
> would be just working for someone to watch him!! (makes no sense!) I
> guess my question is how do the SAHM do it financially??? Just
> curious. Tim is going to lose his job this summer but i figure i
> might be able to go back part time then and then Tim could watch him
> for a while??? But then Tim needs to be out for a while looking for a
> job then!! He will get i forget how many weeks severance while also
> drawing unemployment too then when he is off. I just dont know what
> to do. Help!!
>
>
> Clarice

Jamie Clark · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 5208

Clarice,
Could you look for another job, at a daycare/preschool that took babies, so
that you could bring Asher to work with you and have him nearby? Since you
still have some time off from your materinity leave, it might be worth
checking around real quick, and see if there is anything out there.

Hugs my friend. It is hard to go from two incomes to one, no doubt about
it. It's amazing, however much you make as a family, is how much you spend
(and then some, sometimes!). But if you really want to make it work, you
can likely find a way, especially if your income is only enough to pay the
childcare for Asher, basically.

There is a book called Miserly Moms: Living on One Income in a Two-Income
Economy by Jonni McCoy that you should get (second hand, if possible, to
save money!, or maybe check it out of the library!). It's all about how to
downsize, and all the different ways that you can save money or spend less.
Some of them are simple things, like shopping in bulk and on sale for items
like cereal that store well, or buying day old meat (while it may look
unappetizing because it's oxidized to brown, there is nothing wrong with it
at all), etc. Some others are things that you may not realize, like for a
business woman, if she stops work, she will likely not be spending money on
new clothes, pantyhose, dry cleaning, gas and commute wear and tear on the
car, or the cost of trains or other transportation into her job, Starbucks
in the mornings, frequent lunches out, and several carry-out dinners a week
because she is too tired after a long day of work to cook something. That
stuff can add up over the course of a year. Plus, sometimes the extra
income puts you into a different tax bracket, so you actually pay more taxes
as well. All sorts of things, some not as obvious as others.

What really struck me about the book and author, and what made it a good
solid read for me, is that the author lives in the SF Bay Area (as do I),
which is one of the more expensive places to live. She had a good job and
made good money, perhaps as much as $50k a year. If she and her husband
could downsize to one income, then I believed that dh and I could too. When
you live in a really expensive place, it's hard to believe someone from the
middle of North Dakota or Iowa, who worked part time as a grocery clerk, say
that because they downsized, you can too.

It's worth buying the book. You may find that it helps you save money in
ways that you hadn't thought of, and you may be able to work towards staying
home with Asher in the near future. It may help you get by while Tim is out
of work and looking, and when he gets a new job, you may be able to work it
to quit yours. Or maybe you'll realize that after taxes your salary doesn't
actually cover the cost of Asher's daycare, so it's actually costing you
money to work, and realize that quitting to stay home with him makes the
most sense!

Good luck with whatever you decide. Hugs.
--

Jamie Clark

"agent starling" wrote in message @q77g2000hsh.googlegroups.com...
> Well i am 2 weeks postpartum and am already dreading going back to
> work. Asher is my last baby and i don't want to leave him!! We can't
> afford to put him in daycare it's too expensive, my daycare the one i
> work at doesn't have a baby room until they are one year old.
> Although i love being a preschool teacher i just cry at the thought of
> going back. Family watching him is out of the question my mom used to
> watch Alexis so i could go back to work after she was born but now my
> dad is ill and mom can't do it. I figure if i went back to work i
> would be just working for someone to watch him!! (makes no sense!) I
> guess my question is how do the SAHM do it financially??? Just
> curious. Tim is going to lose his job this summer but i figure i
> might be able to go back part time then and then Tim could watch him
> for a while??? But then Tim needs to be out for a while looking for a
> job then!! He will get i forget how many weeks severance while also
> drawing unemployment too then when he is off. I just dont know what
> to do. Help!!
>
>
> Clarice

smith.joni · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 27

Clarice-

My Dh got laid off two weeks before Mason came home from Haiti and
this was very unexpected. We had been planning for me to stop working
and him keep working after Mason came home. He had been in his job
for more than eight years and we knew that he was not going to make as
much as he was no matter what just starting out again. So... I took
my twelve weeks and went back to work. DH had a new job before I went
back and we managed to make ends meet. It absolutely Killed me to
take Mason to a babysitter. I hated every minute of it even though I
had a great lady watching him for me. I had been thinking I was going
to be a SAHM. My work suffered from it. Mason had some medical
issues we had to overcome and it really bothered me to leave him when
I knew he needed me and we needed the time to bond. Mind you we had
just spent 20k plus on an adoption (not including traveling to Haiti
twice) after spending almost 60k in a few years time TTC. Needless to
say our savings and backup money took a MAJOR hit from all of this.
So... we decided to sell our home. We did, paid off all of our debt
so we are only paying mortgage, car, insurance and utilities. We eat
in most of the time only going out once or twice every two weeks. We
have a blockbuster pass versus satelite and tivo. We sold alot of our
bigger furniture and downsized there. We don't have cell phones (DH
has one through work). We did not have to go to this extreme but it
has worked for us. We are saving money for another adoption and
buying a different house and able to put 800-1000 into savings (after
401K deductions etc) each month. We do this by living on a strict
budget. We pay the bills, gas up the car, buy groceries, give
ourselves (a little for each of us to use seperately however we
choose) a small amount of spending money (goes toward whatever we like
ie clothes, going to the movies, lunches out with friends, etc) and
put the rest into a savings account in a bank account at a bank
seperate from out main account. We do not have any credit card's
anymore. We have no debt outside the above mentioned. We both love
it!! It is a great stress relief to not have any extra debt. We
probably took this to the extreme... but we realized that we needed to
do these things to meet the goals we wanted to for our future. Anyway
that is how we did/do it. I remember being where you are wondering
how we could ever make it work. We wanted it bad enough and we make
it work. The only thing I struggle with is that I don't like to cook
all that much and it is a major part of being a SAHM and managing this
budget. I struggle coming up with new things to make and get bored
with the same stuff all the time but that is a pretty minor
complaint. Anyway I hope you can find a way to make it all work out
for you and your family.

Joni

On Jan 17, 11:55 am, agent starling wrote:
> Well i am 2 weeks postpartum and am already dreading going back to
> work. Asher is my last baby and i don't want to leave him!! We can't
> afford to put him in daycare it's too expensive, my daycare the one i
> work at doesn't have a baby room until they are one year old.
> Although i love being a preschool teacher i just cry at the thought of
> going back. Family watching him is out of the question my mom used to
> watch Alexis so i could go back to work after she was born but now my
> dad is ill and mom can't do it. I figure if i went back to work i
> would be just working for someone to watch him!! (makes no sense!) I
> guess my question is how do the SAHM do it financially??? Just
> curious. Tim is going to lose his job this summer but i figure i
> might be able to go back part time then and then Tim could watch him
> for a while??? But then Tim needs to be out for a while looking for a
> job then!! He will get i forget how many weeks severance while also
> drawing unemployment too then when he is off. I just dont know what
> to do. Help!!
>
> Clarice

whodunit · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 508

agent starling wrote:
> Well i am 2 weeks postpartum and am already dreading going back to
> work. Asher is my last baby and i don't want to leave him!! We can't
> afford to put him in daycare it's too expensive, my daycare the one i
> work at doesn't have a baby room until they are one year old.
> Although i love being a preschool teacher i just cry at the thought of
> going back. Family watching him is out of the question my mom used to
> watch Alexis so i could go back to work after she was born but now my
> dad is ill and mom can't do it. I figure if i went back to work i
> would be just working for someone to watch him!! (makes no sense!) I
> guess my question is how do the SAHM do it financially??? Just
> curious. Tim is going to lose his job this summer but i figure i
> might be able to go back part time then and then Tim could watch him
> for a while??? But then Tim needs to be out for a while looking for a
> job then!! He will get i forget how many weeks severance while also
> drawing unemployment too then when he is off. I just dont know what
> to do. Help!!
>
>
> Clarice

Clarice,

I've been where you are, and fortunately was able to be a sahm while
Maya was little, because like you said, since I wasn't/wouldn't teach
full time (due to high stress) it made no sense to work to sign over
my paycheck to a babysitter or day care...several people have had some
great ideas here, hopefully some will help. I will keep you and Asher in
my prayers that the ideal situation comes from all of this that benefits
not only Asher, but you and Tim and the kids as well!

{{{{{Hugs}}}}}

Love,
Carolyne in TX

lilyaipg · Joined: 15 Nov 2007 Posts: 92

Clarice,
I don't have any advice but just wanted to say that I do hope you find
a good way
and are able to stay with your little baby......I know I would find it
SOO hard to leave that baby smell already..even for a few hours, it is
hard.
Good luck
lily

agent starling · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 271

On Jan 19, 2:16 am, lilya...@yahoo.com wrote:
> Clarice,
> I don't have any advice but just wanted to say that I do hope you find
> a good way
> and are able to stay with your little baby......I know I would find it
> SOO hard to leave that baby smell already..even for a few hours, it is
> hard.
> Good luck
> lily

Thanks everyone. I think for now i am going to stay home as long as i
can. Smile

We will just have to sacrifice for awhile on some things.
Tim is working overtime this weekend already. He missed work. he
took off 2 weeks to be home with me and the baby. I think Tim missed
the routine of getting up etc......LOL Thanks for everyones
suggestions.

Clarice

-L. · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 157

On Jan 17, 10:55 am, agent starling wrote:
> Well i am 2 weeks postpartum and am already dreading going back to
> work. Asher is my last baby and i don't want to leave him!! We can't
> afford to put him in daycare it's too expensive, my daycare the one i
> work at doesn't have a baby room until they are one year old.
> Although i love being a preschool teacher i just cry at the thought of
> going back. Family watching him is out of the question my mom used to
> watch Alexis so i could go back to work after she was born but now my
> dad is ill and mom can't do it. I figure if i went back to work i
> would be just working for someone to watch him!! (makes no sense!) I
> guess my question is how do the SAHM do it financially??? Just
> curious. Tim is going to lose his job this summer but i figure i
> might be able to go back part time then and then Tim could watch him
> for a while??? But then Tim needs to be out for a while looking for a
> job then!! He will get i forget how many weeks severance while also
> drawing unemployment too then when he is off. I just dont know what
> to do. Help!!
>
> Clarice

Wow Clarice - congrats on baby Asher!! I had no idea!!
-L.

agent starling · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 271

On Jan 20, 5:32 am, "-L." wrote:
> On Jan 17, 10:55 am, agent starling wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
> > Well i am 2 weeks postpartum and am already dreading going back to
> > work. Asher is my last baby and i don't want to leave him!! We can't
> > afford to put him in daycare it's too expensive, my daycare the one i
> > work at doesn't have a baby room until they are one year old.
> > Although i love being a preschool teacher i just cry at the thought of
> > going back. Family watching him is out of the question my mom used to
> > watch Alexis so i could go back to work after she was born but now my
> > dad is ill and mom can't do it. I figure if i went back to work i
> > would be just working for someone to watch him!! (makes no sense!) I
> > guess my question is how do the SAHM do it financially??? Just
> > curious. Tim is going to lose his job this summer but i figure i
> > might be able to go back part time then and then Tim could watch him
> > for a while??? But then Tim needs to be out for a while looking for a
> > job then!! He will get i forget how many weeks severance while also
> > drawing unemployment too then when he is off. I just dont know what
> > to do. Help!!
>
> > Clarice
>
> Wow Clarice - congrats on baby Asher!! I had no idea!!
> -L.- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

Smile

Yeah last June i thought i was getting the flu or a stomach bug
and humored myself and took a pregnancy test and it came back
positive!! Yep we were shocked too!! After all those IF treatments,
God sure has a sense of humor!!

Clarice

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