Update on school

ColoradoSkiBum · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 156

Well it's been about 3 weeks now since my SS was put on the new "plan" at
school. If you need a refresher on the situation, read my post "At Wit's
End". He spent several days in the isolation room, then a few in his SIED
teacher's classroom and even went to one *real* class last week, but he blew
it and was put back in her classroom. He had some ups and downs in her
classroom, more of the same old thing although not to the same degree as
before. His teacher has been calling and talking to my husband every day
after school. She finally decided that he would be able to go back into a
"regular" class, but only if he was escorted by one of the para's that works
with her, since he is not at a point yet where he can be "alone" in a
classroom with a bunch of "regular" kids and regular-ed teacher. He was
told this yesterday and *refused* to walk to class with the para--in fact he
made a real point of walking away, making comments, etc. So she took him to
the office, where he spent the rest of the day--in fact the assistant
principal made him call his dad and tell him, himself, that he was in the
office and why. We had all this set up before hand, that if he refused then
that was the way it was going to go, so it wasn't a big shock to us.

He was off of school today. But Monday will be the same thing: He can
either walk to class with the para, or he can go to the office. He has a
real problem accepting directions from anybody except us and his SIED
teacher. Everyone else he figures he doesn't have to listen to and he can
say "no I won't do that" whenever he feels like it. This is part (only a
small part) of the problem. We can tell him, here at home, that he *has to*
listen to the para, but when he's at school, he just won't do it.

As I said, my husband talks to his teacher every day, literally, sometimes
two or three times a day. If this behavior continues into next week, we'll
be looking into alternative programs, since this one does not seem to be
working for him.
--
ColoradoSkiBum

Archived from group: alt>parents-teens

jane · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 563

>As I said, my husband talks to his teacher every day, literally, sometimes
>two or three times a day. If this behavior continues into next week, we'll
>be looking into alternative programs, since this one does not seem to be
>working for him.
>--
>ColoradoSkiBum

Shoot, I thought he was getting a psych eval. Was that not you?

My experience is that testing done through the schools for special ed purposes
is not always adequate. I know it's cynical, but the more they find problems
the more they have to deal with them. Besides, the testing itself can be
expensive.

What people do here is hire a professional advocate, take the kid to private
psychiatrists, neurologists, etc. for testing, and then challenge the IEP, sue
for residential schooling, specialized day programs, etc. Those people get
private education paid for by the school district. People who don't hire a
professional bang their heads against the wall. It annoys me, but you get what
you fight tooth and nail for.

jane

ColoradoSkiBum · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 156

"jane" wrote in message@mb-m26.aol.com...
: >As I said, my husband talks to his teacher every day, literally,
sometimes
: >two or three times a day. If this behavior continues into next week,
we'll
: >be looking into alternative programs, since this one does not seem to be
: >working for him.
: >--
: >ColoradoSkiBum
:
: Shoot, I thought he was getting a psych eval. Was that not you?

No, that was me, but that's not until November.
--
ColoradoSkiBum

Lynn Randall · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 33

"jane" wrote in message@mb-m26.aol.com...
> >As I said, my husband talks to his teacher every day, literally,
sometimes
> >two or three times a day. If this behavior continues into next week,
we'll
> >be looking into alternative programs, since this one does not seem to be
> >working for him.
> >--
> >ColoradoSkiBum

With my son, the principal was calling me up to 5 times a day at work to
complain about him - "Mrs R, do you know what your son has done now?!"

> What people do here is hire a professional advocate, take the kid to
private
> psychiatrists, neurologists, etc. for testing, and then challenge the IEP,
sue
> for residential schooling, specialized day programs, etc. Those people get
> private education paid for by the school district. People who don't hire
a
> professional bang their heads against the wall. It annoys me, but you get
what
> you fight tooth and nail for.
>
> jane

This is what we did with our son. His school district was most pleased to be
getting rid of him. They gave us a book with all the special schools in the
state and told us to pick whichever one we wanted. Our son was diagnosed
with ADHD, ODD, visual and auditory disability, and gross motor disability.
His main social problem was an inability to sit still, pay attention, or
keep his mouth closed. He was all bouncing balls, barking dogs, and slamming
doors. Academically he had no interest, refused to do homework, and failed
just about everything. He was a real challenge to raise - DH and I always
said Thank God he was both of ours because if either of us had brought such
a kid into the marriage we would have gotten divorced! When he graduated
High School we gave him the choice of getting a job or taking a course at
college. He took a 1 year course for a computer degree. We told him we would
foot the bill, but if he got less that a C in his 1st semester, we would not
be paying for the second semester. He shocked us by getting straight A's
both semesters - amazing what he could accomplish when he was motivated to!

Oh, also to get him into the Special Ed school, we went to meetings of CHADD
(for parents of ADHD kids), talked to lots of people, and got inside advice
on what to do, what psychologist to use, and how to handle the school
system. This information was invaluable to us.

Lynn

The Watsons · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 997

"Lynn Randall" wrote in message$y5.38919@nnrp1.ptd.net...
Our son was diagnosed
> with ADHD, ODD, visual and auditory disability, and gross motor
disability.
> His main social problem was an inability to sit still, pay attention, or
> keep his mouth closed. He was all bouncing balls, barking dogs, and
slamming
> doors. Academically he had no interest, refused to do homework, and failed
> just about everything.

just outta curiousity, he ever been tested for NonVerbal?

www.nldline.com
www.nldontheweb.org

both of those are pretty nifty... Smile

Jess

Lynn Randall · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 33

> just outta curiousity, he ever been tested for NonVerbal?
>
>
> www.nldline.com
> www.nldontheweb.org
>
> both of those are pretty nifty... Smile

>
> Jess
>
>

Nope, never even heard of NonVerbal. Thanks for the links - I bookmarked
them, and will take a look.

Lynn

The Watsons · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 997

"Lynn Randall" wrote in message$y5.39767@nnrp1.ptd.net...
>> Nope, never even heard of NonVerbal. Thanks for the links - I bookmarked
> them, and will take a look.

'tis no problem... Smile

Jess

Deborah M Riel · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 369

In article ,
Lynn Randall wrote:
>
>Nope, never even heard of NonVerbal. Thanks for the links - I bookmarked
>them, and will take a look.
>
>Lynn

My son was diagnosed by his signifant point spread in VIQ (verbal) and PIQ
(performance)--I think 21 points in his case. I still find it a
difficult LD to explain, in spite of reading about it and spending a
lot of time with the websites that Jess mentioned. My son also has
had a diagnosis of ADHD since he was about 7 years old. Many of the
signs of NLD match signs of ADHD and vice versa. Some signs of NLD
also match Aspergers or mild Autism, which doesn't fit my son at all.
I'd say he meets about half of the symptoms of NLD, and many more of
ADHD symptoms. I find NLD a very hard disorder to get a clear idea
about or understanding of. Personally, I think that NLD is a reason
he has difficulty in the language of math and in foreign languages,
but I've been unable to really prove that through my research. His
team evaluators see it as enough of a probablilty that they included
it in his IEP, though.

Deb R.

The Watsons · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 997

"Deborah M Riel" wrote in message$dj4$1@bigboote.WPI.EDU...
> In article ,
> Lynn Randall wrote:
> >
> >Nope, never even heard of NonVerbal. Thanks for the links - I bookmarked
> >them, and will take a look.
> >
> >Lynn
>
> My son was diagnosed by his signifant point spread in VIQ (verbal) and PIQ
> (performance)--I think 21 points in his case. I still find it a
> difficult LD to explain, in spite of reading about it and spending a
> lot of time with the websites that Jess mentioned. My son also has
> had a diagnosis of ADHD since he was about 7 years old. Many of the
> signs of NLD match signs of ADHD and vice versa. Some signs of NLD
> also match Aspergers or mild Autism, which doesn't fit my son at all.
> I'd say he meets about half of the symptoms of NLD, and many more of
> ADHD symptoms. I find NLD a very hard disorder to get a clear idea
> about or understanding of. Personally, I think that NLD is a reason
> he has difficulty in the language of math and in foreign languages,
> but I've been unable to really prove that through my research. His
> team evaluators see it as enough of a probablilty that they included
> it in his IEP, though.

with a thirty point difference (117/87), want me to take a crack at it? Smile

Jess

Deborah M Riel · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 369

In article ,
The Watsons wrote:

>with a thirty point difference (117/87), want me to take a crack at it? Smile

>
>Jess

Sure. I'm always looking for more information. I've spent tons of
time on the internet at every site I can find, but I still find it a
confusing disorder to get a grip on. Maybe because some of it fits my
son so well, but some of it is as opposite to him as can be. A lot of
the sites present NLD as a group of symptoms that are supposed to fit
in every case, and I find that to be disorienting.

Deb R.

The Watsons · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 997

"Deborah M Riel" wrote in message$f6g$1@bigboote.WPI.EDU...
> Sure. I'm always looking for more information. I've spent tons of
> time on the internet at every site I can find, but I still find it a
> confusing disorder to get a grip on. Maybe because some of it fits my
> son so well, but some of it is as opposite to him as can be. A lot of
> the sites present NLD as a group of symptoms that are supposed to fit
> in every case, and I find that to be disorienting.

*shakes head* don't trust the sites that try to force us into very strict
categories, it doesn't work...my niece is NV, but her english skills are
Horrible, she can do algebra in her head and her handwriting is
Gorgeous... Smile

the only way you can tell with sis is her handwriting is
marginally better than mine, and as long as she doesn't have to watch her
hands, she's fine... Smile

the diagnostic is the discrepancy between the two
IQ's...and it's typically the discrepancy in performance that cues
teachers/parents that something's wrong....

NVLD is mainly a processing disorder....it's a discrepancy in the right
hemisphere with how and how fast the brain integrates/accesses/uses
information ....they're beginning to narrow it down to the corpus callosum
(it's the "information highway" between the two hemispheres-it's what keeps
the two halves of the brain talking to each other), but that's still
tentative...it can be either in picking up new information (hence my
problems with math/science-both highly logical, very abstract subjects), or
just how quick i can access it (i have untimed tests because even the
simplest problem will take me at least twice as long to retrieve)...NV also
shows up in visual (in laws have a lil' knitted jesus placard on their
mantel-jesus is in blue, the rest is in white; my niece Still has trouble
gestalting the blue pieces into the word), visual motor (think jigsaw
puzzles-seeing and doing at the same time) and visual spatial (you heard him
mention that he couldn't tell how close he was to whatever it was he ran
into? i ran into a doorway at a new house-three times in a row, same day)
processing...it can also affect motor skills/coordination (no, i can Not
walk, talk and chew bubblegum at the same time, much less pat my belly and
rub my head *LOL*)...

help at all, or are you looking for what it's like from the inside out? Smile

Jess

Deborah M Riel · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 369

In article ,
The Watsons wrote:
>
>*shakes head* don't trust the sites that try to force us into very strict
>categories, it doesn't work...my niece is NV, but her english skills are
>Horrible, she can do algebra in her head and her handwriting is
>Gorgeous... Smile

the only way you can tell with sis is her handwriting is
>marginally better than mine, and as long as she doesn't have to watch her
>hands, she's fine... Smile

the diagnostic is the discrepancy between the two
>IQ's...and it's typically the discrepancy in performance that cues
>teachers/parents that something's wrong....
>

Thanks, Jess. With my son, I can see a lot of that coordination
stuff. Yet, he played basketball for a few years. I never had the
feeling he was really "all there" with the game though. He could
shoot, but he kind of hung back when it came to aggressive plays. He
took forever to learn how to ride a bike, too--for years he would run
along behind his friends as they rode. He doesn't like to use a knife
to cut his food, and for many years he had an ingenious method of
taking his button up shirts off without unbuttoning them so he wouldn't
have to do that. Same with pants--until he was around 12, he only
liked pull on pants with elastic waistbands, like sweats. When he
took martial arts, his balance was terrible. Whenever he used to talk
to me when he was younger, he'd move side to side the whole time--we
joked around and called it "bobbling." He also has a very poor idea
of how close he is in relation to other people around him. He is
always driving people crazy by invading their personal space. He's a
big kid, too, and sometimes I feel like I have to keep one guarding
arm up when he comes too close or I'll be sent flying like a football
tackle Smile

And yes, his handwriting is practically illegible. He has
a funny way of "drawing" his letters instead of forming them in the
way most people do.

He has trouble with things that involve coding--algebra, foreign
language, grammar, spelling. Some of these are things that according to the
websites, are supposed to be easier for people with NVLD. It's
supposed to contribute to better rote memorization skills, for
example, and I haven't found that to be the case for my son. Most of
the sites say that foreign language should be a pretty good subject
because of the ease of memorization. Not the case for him. I'm
positive it has to do with the same thing that causes him so much
trouble with algebra--the decoding of words that make no sense to
him--but as much as I looked and asked questions, I couldn't get any
real research to back up my theory. I'm just glad that at his IEP
meeting, they seemed to get what I was saying.

The thing I can't match up to my son is the part that casts people
with NVLD as being on the Aspergers, or mildly autistic end of things
socially. My son does tend to take what people say literally--he
doesn't get a lot of nuance, but he is a very social kid with a lot of
friends. He has many more friends than I ever did.

Maybe it's the mix of NVLD and ADHD in him that keep him from fitting
the descriptions more completely. I just get really hung up when I
read the descriptions of how kids with NVLD are bullied all the time,
and don't have any friends. Or how they don't look you in the eye
directly. It just doesn't fit him at all. When I read those
descriptions of the disorder, I feel like the diagnosis must be wrong.

Deb R.

The Watsons · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 997

"Deborah M Riel" wrote in message$12ou$1@bigboote.WPI.EDU...
> Thanks, Jess. With my son, I can see a lot of that coordination
> stuff. Yet, he played basketball for a few years. I never had the
> feeling he was really "all there" with the game though. He could
> shoot, but he kind of hung back when it came to aggressive plays.

i was in marching band for two years, and i Always had trouble
"guiding"-drove my bandmates nuts until my teacher was told i had the
disorder...i still use rails when i'm on stairs... Smile

it's a matter of not
being able to tell where i am in relation to everyone/everything else... Smile

> He
> took forever to learn how to ride a bike, too--for years he would run
> along behind his friends as they rode.

took me 'bout four years, and it was mainly learning how to balance so i
could take off... Smile

> Whenever he used to talk
> to me when he was younger, he'd move side to side the whole time--we
> joked around and called it "bobbling." He also has a very poor idea
> of how close he is in relation to other people around him. He is
> always driving people crazy by invading their personal space. He's a
> big kid, too, and sometimes I feel like I have to keep one guarding
> arm up when he comes too close or I'll be sent flying like a football
> tackle Smile

it's confusing, because it seems like everyone's space is so different all
the time that it's hard to remember where that line is.... Smile

i've learned to
stay a bit back and look for someone leaning into me..... Smile

i still can't
compare how loud i am with everyone else...so either you can't hear me or
i'm too loud...*L*

>And yes, his handwriting is practically illegible. He has
> a funny way of "drawing" his letters instead of forming them in the
> way most people do.

*nods* that's typical-it's how we remember to shape the letters... Smile

that's
why i tend to stick to pens with really thick ink.... Smile

> He has trouble with things that involve coding--algebra, foreign
> language, grammar, spelling.

the algebra is going to be a matter of abstraction/organization....think
about what x is supposed to represent and the rules for exponents; i didn't
manage to develop that level until a few years ago... Smile

the foreign
language/grammar/spelling might be the organization tripping him
up....foreign language rules are sometimes the reverse of english, and the
grammar/spelling rules are a lot of organizing, so it could be that he's
having to flip back and forth between two different modes and he can't do it
yet....does he like scrabble? Smile

i did better in the language area because i'm a very strong auditory
learner....and growing up overseas might've helped too... Wink

Some of these are things that according to the
> websites, are supposed to be easier for people with NVLD. It's
> supposed to contribute to better rote memorization skills, for
> example, and I haven't found that to be the case for my son. Most of
> the sites say that foreign language should be a pretty good subject
> because of the ease of memorization. Not the case for him. I'm
> positive it has to do with the same thing that causes him so much
> trouble with algebra--the decoding of words that make no sense to
> him--but as much as I looked and asked questions, I couldn't get any
> real research to back up my theory. I'm just glad that at his IEP
> meeting, they seemed to get what I was saying.

remember, rote memorization applies to Everything-from combing his hair to
getting dressed to getting to the proper class in the proper order to which
response goes to which greeting from which person....i still have to walk my
classes the day before the session starts so i know in which order... Smile

and
see if you can get your hands on his psych test-it should show you what his
specific learning styles are (i'm a combination of auditory/visual), and if
his teachers can start doing that, it might help him take off...

> The thing I can't match up to my son is the part that casts people
> with NVLD as being on the Aspergers, or mildly autistic end of things
> socially. My son does tend to take what people say literally--he
> doesn't get a lot of nuance, but he is a very social kid with a lot of
> friends. He has many more friends than I ever did.

just a naturally social personality, and a great group of friends that know
he's slightly different, so they help him along? Smile

> Maybe it's the mix of NVLD and ADHD in him that keep him from fitting
> the descriptions more completely. I just get really hung up when I
> read the descriptions of how kids with NVLD are bullied all the time,
> and don't have any friends. Or how they don't look you in the eye
> directly. It just doesn't fit him at all. When I read those
> descriptions of the disorder, I feel like the diagnosis must be wrong.

wha? *confused looks* i tend to stare, because i'm already missing so much
that i have to constantly watch....that must be the asperger's disorder
they're talking about there...but yeah, sometimes we get bullied..it's
pretty easy, actually-we're missing so much of the body language, and then
classes are so difficult, it makes us easy targets...and sometimes, it's
hard to tell if we're being bullied... Sad

but as far as the two, the ADHD is mainly gonna make him a hyper
spacecadet... Wink

it's the NVLD that'll make things take a bit to sink
in....i've been diagnosed as just ADD enough that i need my dayplanner and a
couple of reminders that important assignments are coming up.. Smile

but we're
not gonna fit exactly into any one category/symptom set...SIL (the one with
the spec ed degree-it's great for my niece) compares us to a rainbow-we're
all Over the spectrum.... Smile

Jess

Angie Reynolds · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 80

"Deborah M Riel" wrote in message$1604$1@bigboote.WPI.EDU...
> In article ,
> >
>
> Do you really accept that he isn't ADHD? I'd go for a second opinion
> if you haven't already done so. Also, have the school do their
> battery of test for learning disorders. If he shows a significant
> spread between VIQ and PIQ (verbal and performance), it points to NVLD
> as a possible source of his difficulties. NVLD can have a
> considerable overlap of symptoms with ADHD, and one can sometimes be
> misdiagnosed as the other. Or, they can coexist. Your SS sounds a
> lot like my son at that age, minus the skinny part.

Well, yeah, I do accept that he isn't ADHD....isn't that also hyper? He's
not hyper at all. As far as ADD....I keep thinking me must have a mild case
of it, but he's been tested by the pediatrician, and the school tested him
once last year and again this year. Nothing is sowing up. I also got another
opinion from another doctor in Little Rock. Nothing there either. They just
said he had trouble concentrating and had a short attention span. He scored
well on all the tests. But something isn't right. Could this many people be
wrong??

>
> Some things I used to keep him on the track when he was younger was
> the use of a "star" chart. I'd pick a few behaviors that I needed him
> to work on, and for each day he'd get a star if he followed through.
> When he built up a certain amount of stars, he'd get a prize. It sort
> of worked. I also spent *years* sitting with him as he did his
> homework to keep him on the track. I used a kitchen timer for awhile
> to break his homework time down into more manageable bites of time
> rather than one big block. I can remember him one time reaching up
> into the air over and over again. I asked him what he was doing, and
> he said he was trying to catch the dust particles! That's how
> distracted he was by things around him.

Yeah, we do the reward thing with him as well. We have a little chart and if
he completes something or does good for a whole week on something we are
trying to work on, he gets a prize. It frustrates him though, because he
would try SO hard to complete something or remember something, if he forgets
and don't get a prize for it, he gets so upset. I see him trying SO hard, it
breaks my heart. He can't help it...whatever it is. As far as the "catching
dust particles" thing goes, SS8 does alot of things like that. He'll get so
bored and start making figures with his hand. he's very imaginative. I break
up his homework too. I found after a while, that he did a little better if
he did his homework in steps. Or one paper at a time, and take a little
break, move around for a bit, and watch about 15 minutes of cartoons and go
back to it.
>
> My son also is a very good reader. It's what he scores highest on in
> standardized testing. But, he also has trouble with comprehension and
> I know exactly what you mean when you say your SS can be staring right
> at the answer on the page and not see it. That's what my son does
> too. My son hates to read, and won't do it unless he absolutely has
> to. On the other hand, he is a pretty creative writer and has written
> some very unique short pieces. I also know exactly what you're
> talking about having to say everything at least 3 times to have him
> get it. I still have to repeat myself ad nauseum. I don't know if
> it's lack of attention or problems with sequencing. It could be
> either, or both. When he was little, I used to have to tell him to
> get dressed one step at a time, starting with "take your pajama
> bottoms off. Now take your pajama top off." So on, until he was
> dressed. If I didn't do this, he'd be distracted somewhere along the
> way. It's frustrating, but I can assure you, he doesn't need that
> kind of reminding now. At least not in every detail of his life.
> There are still plenty of things that I have remind him to do, but
> it's improving with age. Does your SS have problems remembering the
> months of the year in order, or the days of the week or trouble
> telling time? If so, that could be part of a sequencing disorder
> which could be one reason you have to repeat instructions so often.

Yeah, he does have trouble remembering the months of the year, in order.
He's bad about that. He had something in school where he had to answer
questions like "What is the month before October?" and he was really
frustrated because he could not remember the months in order to begin with.
He's pretty good on the days of the week though. Time, he is still working
on. I don't knwo if it's because they just started learning this last year.
They started last year on learning the hands and hours. This year he is
doing half past the hours, and now they are starting to tell time like 8:45,
and that is very hard for him.

>
> I had him in counseling for many years (family counseling--the 2 of us
> would go together) and for awhile in freshman year of high school, he
> saw an organizational tutor. He also took ADHD meds up until this
> year, when he decided he wanted to make a go of it without them (he's
> a junior in high school now). None of these interventions were
> miraculous; he and I have had to kind of pick our way along seeing
> what works and discarding what doesn't work. It's a very imperfect
> system, to say the least. I keep up the hope that although he's
> maturing at a slower rate than some of his peers, he eventually *will*
> get there and find his way so that he can be a self-sufficient,
> self-supporting adult. Right now he's kind of scattered and stubborn,
> and doesn't show a lot of self-motivation skills. Social life is all
> important. I keep reminding myself that at 17 I didn't have a lot of
> motivation or drive either, but I support myself just fine now, and
> found a way to keep my talents and interests a vital part of my life.

Yeah, my SS is not as mature as the rest of his friends his age. He gets
along better with SS6's friends. I tell ya, it's very hard and very
frustrating but one thing I have prided myself on, is not losing patience
with him. (When alot of times, I would like to lom close to losing my
patience) I never make him feel "stupid" and I never yell at him or get mad.
It's hard, because it's so frustrating. But I know it is just as frustrating
for him.

Angie
>
> Deb R.
>

Lynn Randall · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 33

"Deborah M Riel" wrote in message$1604$1@bigboote.WPI.EDU...

> Some things I used to keep him on the track when he was younger was
> the use of a "star" chart. I'd pick a few behaviors that I needed him

Our son had a star chart from the time he was 2. I took an exercise class at
the Y a couple days a week and enrolled him in preschool there for those
couple of hours. After just one week I received a call from the preschool
telling me all of the other children and all of the teachers were having
problems with him. They (the school) wanted to know "Why is he like this and
what can we do about it?" I told them I had no idea of the answer and if
they came up with anything I was willing to try. They devised a star chart
(he was the only kid who had one). Each day he got either a gold star or a
black mark.

> of worked. I also spent *years* sitting with him as he did his
> homework to keep him on the track. I used a kitchen timer for awhile

Yes, I did this too! The benefit when he went to the Special Ed school is
that I no longer needed to do this. The school was more concerned with
bringing his behavior to a more acceptable social standard, than with
academics.

> too. My son hates to read, and won't do it unless he absolutely has
> to. On the other hand, he is a pretty creative writer and has written

My son also hated to read, but was a creative writer (when forced to write
something). When he graduated HS, I didn't think he even knew how to read or
write. But when he got on the PC he amazed me. He began chatting with others
and then was motivated to spell words right. He would call to me "Mom - how
do you spell _______ (fill in the blank)?" I always answered "How do you
think?" I forced him to try first. Most times he was 100% accurate or very
close to it. I would then correct any errors.

> either, or both. When he was little, I used to have to tell him to
> get dressed one step at a time, starting with "take your pajama
> bottoms off. Now take your pajama top off." So on, until he was

Yes, yes, yes! I had to tell him everything in very explicit sequences - one
small step at a time. And if he had to leave the room to complete the step,
sometimes he would be gone for 10 minutes or so, and then when he returned,
he still hadn't done it! He'd gone off to do it, but become distracted
along the way, and then come back totally having forgotten what he had set
out to do in the 1st place.

There is hope though. We just kept up with the consistency that his
therapists suggested to us, and tried our best to help him and not to enable
his poor behavior. It was probably the biggest challenge of my life, and our
son was very lucky to have 2 parents dedicated to helping him. Most of all
he helped himself when he graduated HS and realized that his life was not
going to be very enjoyable if he kept up with his self-sabotaging behavior.
When he had motivation to do so, we were amazed by his accomplishments. He
has now had a steady job for 2 years and is getting along ok.

Lynn

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