Bedwetting and Hygene: my daughter's recent problem

Johhny K. · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 2

Hello. I'm new here, and was hoping to get a bit of advice. My 11 year old
daughter, Catherine, wets the bed, and wears goodnites to keep her sheets
sdry. She's wet almost every day of her life. She word diapers until she
was 4, then Pull-ups until she was 6, and has been in Goodnites ever since.
We've tried a few treatments, but nothing helps. She just keeps peeing in
them. She'll grow out of it ventually, but there's another problem.

Catherine used to be good about changing when she woke up in the morning.
She would take her wet goodnite off right away, get dressed for the day, and
come down for breakfast. On the occasions when she leaked, she would put
her sheets in the washer too. But, ever since school let out, things have
changed.

All summer, Catherine has been becoming less and less consientious about her
personal hygene. For the most part, I'm not concerened. I make sure her
clothes are clean, and that she bathes at least every other day, and she'll
do it, at least grudgengly. But, her morning ritual is more difficult for
me to take up the slack on. She no longer takes her goodnites off right
away. She'll come down to breakfast in her nightclothes. I constantly have
to remind Catherine to change if she's wet. You'd think being wet would be
uncomfy but she'll happily lounge around in a wet goodnite for hours on end
if I don't make her go change. Sometimes she even lies and says she's dry! I
don't know if she's being lazy, or if she just doesn't care, or what. I
don't say anything until after breakfast, because I cook and eat in my
pyjamas as well. I wait until after to tell her to go change, in fairness.
But, she'll complain that she doesn't want to. She'll sometimes lie, and
say she's not even wet, when her Goodnight is bulging through her pyjamas!
On occasion, she'll even be leaking a bit, and still doesn't wanna change.

On the other hand, she's very hygenic in a few areas. She'll be in the
shower for 45 minutes sometimes. And when her boyfreind comes to visit, she
makes sure she's in clean clothes. But, that's about it.

I've asked her why she's so lackadaial with her hygene these days, and she
wouldn't tell me. I suspect, now that hse doesn't have to get ready for
school every day, that she's just becomming a bit lazy. On the other hand,
she's never done this during the summer before.

Well, any advice is appriciated. Just so you know The only other people in
the house are her little sister, Geraldine, who's 6, and also wets the
bed(she's still in pullups, but will outgrow them soon, I think). Geraldine
has no hygene problems, but doesn't seem to care about Catherine's. And,
our dog, Charlie(a boy dog) if he counts. Oh, and me of course. I'm John.

For nicknames, I call my kids Cathy and Rally(like molly). I guess that's
not necessary information, but it might be easier to call them that in
replies. Whatever works. And most call me Johnny.

Thanks in advance!

Archived from group: alt>parenting>solutions

Johhny K. · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 2

Hello Beth. Thanks for your reply.

> One thing you might try at this point, since the weather is warm, would
> be a night without pullups. If she's wetting at a particular time of
> night, esp. if it's close to morning, put it to her that the pullups are
> a nuisance and would she like to try a night without them to see what
> happens. I recommend this because sometimes a child who has needed
> night pullups for a long time stays in them out of habit, rather than
> actual need.

This may be a good idea. I do, however, periodically try a night without
protection for both of my girls, and the result is always very wet sheets.
It's been a few months, though, so it's worth a try. Maybe she'll actually
be dry!

> About the hygiene ... you just have to be firm as a parent. The pullup
> gets thrown away immediately on getting out of bed. A shower must be
> taken right away.

I am firm, but I'm not a hypocrite. I eat in my pyjamas, so my daughters
are entitled to as well. I do, however, make her change and shower right
after breakfast.

>Don't be shy about saying to your daughter that she
> smells bad, and what if a friend were to drop by unexpectedly?

Another very good point. I shall mention it to her in the morning.

> I've only dealt with this with boys, but if your daughter is on the
> verge of menstruating, or has already begun, then your problem gets more
> complicated.

She's not menstrating yet. I don't think she's anywhere close, but as a
man, I don't know too much about that stuff. She doesn't have visible
breasts yet(I'm not sure if she has any at all, but I'm not certain), and
doesn't have armpit hair. But I'm no expert.

Thanks again! I'm off to bed. I'll let everyone know tomorrow what's
happening.

Mike S. · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 9

Johhny K. wrote:
> Hello. I'm new here, and was hoping to get a bit of advice. My 11 year old
> daughter, Catherine, wets the bed, and wears goodnites to keep her sheets
> sdry. She's wet almost every day of her life. She word diapers until she
> was 4, then Pull-ups until she was 6, and has been in Goodnites ever since.
> We've tried a few treatments, but nothing helps. She just keeps peeing in
> them. She'll grow out of it ventually, but there's another problem.
>

Have you tried using one of those alarm devices? They snap onto the
underwear and when the underwear gets wet, the alarm sounds. That's
what cured me of bedwetting. My parents had tried all sorts of things
before that and nothing worked. That alarm scared the heck out of me so
I think it "cured" me within a week.

> Catherine used to be good about changing when she woke up in the morning.
> She would take her wet goodnite off right away, get dressed for the day, and
> come down for breakfast. On the occasions when she leaked, she would put
> her sheets in the washer too. But, ever since school let out, things have
> changed.
>

Perhaps, the fact that she's 11 and still wetting the bed is
embarrassing, worrisome, and depressing to her. I would assume that
she's hiding this from her friends, otherwise the whole school would
probably be teasing her. I remember having to hide it and was very
upset when I couldn't spend the night at my friend's house or couldn't
go camping overnight with my scout troop.

If the bedwetting continues, you may want to look into sleep disorders
if you haven't already. My doctor believes that my sleep apnea was the
cause of my bedwetting. I don't think family physicians and
pediatricians really pick on that. Mine never did and I was only
diagnosed after I nearly stopped breathing during a dental surgery.
Does your daughter snore a lot, breathe with her mouth open, or make
gasping noises while she sleeps? If so, it could be a sleep disorder.

Of course, bedwetting can be caused by other things. This site -
http://www.kcbd.com/global/story.asp?s=1230337 - has some interesting
things on it about bedwetting.

Beth Kevles · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 908

Hi --

One thing you might try at this point, since the weather is warm, would
be a night without pullups. If she's wetting at a particular time of
night, esp. if it's close to morning, put it to her that the pullups are
a nuisance and would she like to try a night without them to see what
happens. I recommend this because sometimes a child who has needed
night pullups for a long time stays in them out of habit, rather than
actual need. I know a child, for example, who NEEDED them through age
about 9 1/2 but when faced with a night without pullups at age 10 1/4
was able to stay dry, and has been dry almost every night since. The
child in question didn't realize he COULD stay dry until he tried.

About the hygiene ... you just have to be firm as a parent. The pullup
gets thrown away immediately on getting out of bed. A shower must be
taken right away. Don't be shy about saying to your daughter that she
smells bad, and what if a friend were to drop by unexpectedly?

I've only dealt with this with boys, but if your daughter is on the
verge of menstruating, or has already begun, then your problem gets more
complicated.

My two cents,
--Beth Kevles
bethkevles@aol.com
http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic
Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical
advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner.

NOTE: No email is read at my MIT address. Use the AOL one if you would
like me to reply.

xkatx · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 521

"Johhny K." wrote in message @fidnet.com...
> Hello Beth. Thanks for your reply.
>
>> One thing you might try at this point, since the weather is warm, would
>> be a night without pullups. If she's wetting at a particular time of
>> night, esp. if it's close to morning, put it to her that the pullups are
>> a nuisance and would she like to try a night without them to see what
>> happens. I recommend this because sometimes a child who has needed
>> night pullups for a long time stays in them out of habit, rather than
>> actual need.
>
>
> This may be a good idea. I do, however, periodically try a night without
> protection for both of my girls, and the result is always very wet sheets.
> It's been a few months, though, so it's worth a try. Maybe she'll
> actually
> be dry!

Maybe, maybe not. At both of your DD's ages, I don't think they're doing
it on purpose to be 'babies' or something like that. Quite frankly, it
might be embarrassing to them, but there's many children who have this
problem, and really, it's not their fault. Maybe try it. I don't think it
would hurt. So you have wet sheets in the morning and an extra load of
laundry to do - not the end of the world. Make sure there's something
between the fitted sheet and the mattress (although I assume you have this
covered already)

>> About the hygiene ... you just have to be firm as a parent. The pullup
>> gets thrown away immediately on getting out of bed. A shower must be
>> taken right away.
>
> I am firm, but I'm not a hypocrite. I eat in my pyjamas, so my daughters
> are entitled to as well. I do, however, make her change and shower right
> after breakfast.

You also don't have a problem with accidents and wetting the bed at night.
Maybe draw the line there. Wet Goodnights mean showered and changed BEFORE
breakfast. If you wet the bed and came down for breakfast before having a
shower/changing, that would be different. I just assume you do not have
this problem. Maybe make it so that if there's no accidents during the
night, the girls are welcome to come for breakfast in pyjamas. I know I
often eat breakfast before changing, but as a rule, I do change DD's diaper
as soon as she wakes up, and that's if she has a wet OR dirty diaper. I
make it a habit, and even though mine is almost a year, it might be slightly
different, but perhaps if yours enjoy getting dressed after breakfast - as
you do - it could be something to work towards. If the Goodnights/Pullups
are wet in the morning, it's off to the shower first and I'm not sure about
you, but after I have a shower, I always change my clothes (this is either
in the morning or just before bed) to either what I'm wearing for the entire
day or what I'll be wearing to bed - depending on what's appropriate. I've
never once gone for a shower first thing in the morning then put my pyjamas
on to face the day, with the exception of maybe being sick.

> >Don't be shy about saying to your daughter that she
>> smells bad, and what if a friend were to drop by unexpectedly?
>
> Another very good point. I shall mention it to her in the morning.

Do it in a polite way. Something like, "Girl! You stink!! Go shower now
before you make me and everyone else vomit!" is going to get you, and her,
absolutely nowhere. Politely say something along the lines of, "You better
hop in that shower! You're a smelly girl!" (in a more joking way, but
obviously you'd know your own daughter best and be able to know the best way
to do this) Make your point clear, but don't make your point sharp and
hurtful (obviously!)

>> I've only dealt with this with boys, but if your daughter is on the
>> verge of menstruating, or has already begun, then your problem gets more
>> complicated.
>
> She's not menstrating yet. I don't think she's anywhere close, but as a
> man, I don't know too much about that stuff. She doesn't have visible
> breasts yet(I'm not sure if she has any at all, but I'm not certain), and
> doesn't have armpit hair. But I'm no expert.

As a parent of not one, but a pair of daughters, you need to know about this
stuff. She's around the age that it could be tomorrow or next year, or
maybe not for another 5 years. Each girl is different as far as that goes.
I've heard of children as young as about 8 or 9 starting fairly often, as
well as younger and older. She is still young, but don't bank on it not
happening for years and years to come!

> Thanks again! I'm off to bed. I'll let everyone know tomorrow what's
> happening.

As am I. Not sure why on earth I'm still up!

OGDENGONDOLA · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 1

Johhny K. wrote:
> Hello. I'm new here, and was hoping to get a bit of advice. My 11 year old
> daughter, Catherine, wets the bed, and wears goodnites to keep her sheets
> sdry. She's wet almost every day of her life. She word diapers until she
> was 4, then Pull-ups until she was 6, and has been in Goodnites ever since.
> We've tried a few treatments, but nothing helps. She just keeps peeing in
> them. She'll grow out of it ventually, but there's another problem.
>
> Catherine used to be good about changing when she woke up in the morning.
> She would take her wet goodnite off right away, get dressed for the day, and
> come down for breakfast. On the occasions when she leaked, she would put
> her sheets in the washer too. But, ever since school let out, things have
> changed.
>
> All summer, Catherine has been becoming less and less consientious about her
> personal hygene. For the most part, I'm not concerened. I make sure her
> clothes are clean, and that she bathes at least every other day, and she'll
> do it, at least grudgengly. But, her morning ritual is more difficult for
> me to take up the slack on. She no longer takes her goodnites off right
> away. She'll come down to breakfast in her nightclothes. I constantly have
> to remind Catherine to change if she's wet. You'd think being wet would be
> uncomfy but she'll happily lounge around in a wet goodnite for hours on end
> if I don't make her go change. Sometimes she even lies and says she's dry! I
> don't know if she's being lazy, or if she just doesn't care, or what. I
> don't say anything until after breakfast, because I cook and eat in my
> pyjamas as well. I wait until after to tell her to go change, in fairness.
> But, she'll complain that she doesn't want to. She'll sometimes lie, and
> say she's not even wet, when her Goodnight is bulging through her pyjamas!
> On occasion, she'll even be leaking a bit, and still doesn't wanna change.
>
> On the other hand, she's very hygenic in a few areas. She'll be in the
> shower for 45 minutes sometimes. And when her boyfreind comes to visit, she
> makes sure she's in clean clothes. But, that's about it.
>
> I've asked her why she's so lackadaial with her hygene these days, and she
> wouldn't tell me. I suspect, now that hse doesn't have to get ready for
> school every day, that she's just becomming a bit lazy. On the other hand,
> she's never done this during the summer before.
>
> Well, any advice is appriciated. Just so you know The only other people in
> the house are her little sister, Geraldine, who's 6, and also wets the
> bed(she's still in pullups, but will outgrow them soon, I think). Geraldine
> has no hygene problems, but doesn't seem to care about Catherine's. And,
> our dog, Charlie(a boy dog) if he counts. Oh, and me of course. I'm John.
>
> For nicknames, I call my kids Cathy and Rally(like molly). I guess that's
> not necessary information, but it might be easier to call them that in
> replies. Whatever works. And most call me Johnny.
>
> Thanks in advance!

Johhny;
you might try having her sleep natural and that will probably
eliminatethe problem fast.
As a naturist family knows,using diapers only prolongs the time of
potty training and using pajamas and good nights the same,when sleeping
natural with out textiles,the warm urine is not absorbed into cloth but
readily wakes up the child and soon ceases to be a problem,as most
naturist (nudist) families could attest,good luck!
papabare
www.naturistsociety.com

Jeff · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 608

"Johhny K." wrote in message @fidnet.com...
> Hello. I'm new here, and was hoping to get a bit of advice. My 11 year
> old
> daughter, Catherine, wets the bed, and wears goodnites to keep her sheets

(...)

> On the other hand, she's very hygenic in a few areas. She'll be in the
> shower for 45 minutes sometimes. And when her boyfreind comes to visit,
> she
> makes sure she's in clean clothes. But, that's about it.

Does she get any cleaner with a 45 minute shower than a 5 minuite shower?
Unless she helped change the oil on the car or did something else very
dirty, I don't think so. The length of the shower is not a sign of good
hygeine.

Boyfriend? I hope you mean her friend who happens a be a boy. She seems a
bit young for a boyfriend.

> I've asked her why she's so lackadaial with her hygene these days, and she
> wouldn't tell me. I suspect, now that hse doesn't have to get ready for
> school every day, that she's just becomming a bit lazy. On the other
> hand,
> she's never done this during the summer before.

I am a bit surprised that she wants to lay around in her wet things for that
length of time.

However, I unless she is leakikng, I wouldn't worry.

> Well, any advice is appriciated. Just so you know The only other people
> in
> the house are her little sister, Geraldine, who's 6, and also wets the
> bed(she's still in pullups, but will outgrow them soon, I think).
> Geraldine
> has no hygene problems, but doesn't seem to care about Catherine's. And,
> our dog, Charlie(a boy dog) if he counts. Oh, and me of course. I'm
> John.
>
> For nicknames, I call my kids Cathy and Rally(like molly). I guess that's
> not necessary information, but it might be easier to call them that in
> replies. Whatever works. And most call me Johnny.
>
> Thanks in advance!
>
>

Johnny K · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 21

> Have you tried using one of those alarm devices? They snap onto the
> underwear and when the underwear gets wet, the alarm sounds. That's
> what cured me of bedwetting. My parents had tried all sorts of things
> before that and nothing worked. That alarm scared the heck out of me so
> I think it "cured" me within a week.

I've always thought these were a bad idea, and you spell out the reason.
These things are loud and scary, especially when you're woken up by them.
I'm fine with waiting until she grows out of it.

> Perhaps, the fact that she's 11 and still wetting the bed is
> embarrassing, worrisome, and depressing to her. I would assume that
> she's hiding this from her friends, otherwise the whole school would
> probably be teasing her. I remember having to hide it and was very
> upset when I couldn't spend the night at my friend's house or couldn't
> go camping overnight with my scout troop.

Her closest freinds know. But yes, for the most part, she does hide it.
Then again, so does my younger daughter. It's just the kind of thing you
don't go around telling people, isn't it.

> If the bedwetting continues, you may want to look into sleep disorders
> if you haven't already. My doctor believes that my sleep apnea was the
> cause of my bedwetting. I don't think family physicians and
> pediatricians really pick on that. Mine never did and I was only
> diagnosed after I nearly stopped breathing during a dental surgery.
> Does your daughter snore a lot, breathe with her mouth open, or make
> gasping noises while she sleeps? If so, it could be a sleep disorder.

She doesn't snore. In fact, she sleeps like a baby. A bit too much like a
baby now that I think about it Razz

OK, bad joke.

> Of course, bedwetting can be caused by other things. This site -
> http://www.kcbd.com/global/story.asp?s=1230337 - has some interesting
> things on it about bedwetting.

I'm pretty sure of the cause. Genetics. Her mom wet the bed until she was
16, and I myself did until 7. Cathy's never been dry.

Johnny K · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 21

> Does she get any cleaner with a 45 minute shower than a 5 minuite shower?
> Unless she helped change the oil on the car or did something else very
> dirty, I don't think so. The length of the shower is not a sign of good
> hygeine.

I hope she gets cleaner in that time. But, honestly, I have no idea what
she does in there that takes so long. I can take a shower for 15 minutes
and run out of things to wash, even if I scrub for a long time.

> Boyfriend? I hope you mean her friend who happens a be a boy. She seems a
> bit young for a boyfriend.

Well, mostly. They've been together since January, but all they do is watch
TV together, and occasionally go see a movie with me or his parents as
chaperones, or perhaps have dinner at the other's house. They also kiss
each other on occasion. It's quite cute, really.

> I am a bit surprised that she wants to lay around in her wet things for
that
> length of time.
>
> However, I unless she is leakikng, I wouldn't worry.

You're probably right. As long as she washes afterward, I suppose there's
no harm in eating breakfast with wet goodnites on. And she only rarely
leaks. I'm quite astonished at how much those things hold!

Johnny K · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 21

> Johhny;
> you might try having her sleep natural and that will probably
> eliminatethe problem fast.
> As a naturist family knows,using diapers only prolongs the time of
> potty training and using pajamas and good nights the same,when sleeping
> natural with out textiles,the warm urine is not absorbed into cloth but
> readily wakes up the child and soon ceases to be a problem,as most
> naturist (nudist) families could attest,good luck!
> papabare
> www.naturistsociety.com
>

We've tried this before. It always ends with very wet sheets, and generally
a crying little girl at 3am. Though, generally, this is my younger
daughter. Cathy can sleep through with wet sheets.

Johnny K · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 21

Here's what happened this morning.

I got up as usual and went downstairs to fix Breakfast. About 20 minutes
later, my girls came down together. As usual for this summer, Cathy was
still in her nightshirt(Rather hot last night. She prefers these to pyjamas
on occasion), with a very wet-looking goodnite underneath. Rally was fully
dressed, with, I might add, quite a fashion sense for a girl her age.

I asked Cathy to please get changed before breakfast, and it turned into a
bit of a row. She stormed off to her room without eating. I suppose it's a
sign of things to come in her teen years. She came out once or twice for a
drink of water, still in her Goodnites and nightshirt, and didn't speak to
me. After that, she didn't come out until lunch time, still in her night
things. She had, by that time, at least absconded with her goodnite,
switching to panties. We quietly ate lunch, and she went off to shower, at
my insistance. She then dressed for the day, and went outside, where she
still is.

So, that experiment didn't go well. On the advise of Jeff, I'll probably
just let her bathe after breakfast, os long as she isn't leaking, from now
on. Tonight, I'll suggest that my daughters sleep nude, and see if either
of them manages to stay dry.

I'll keep everyone posted. Please, continue with any and all advice. It's
been very helpful.

Beth Kevles · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 908

Hi --

I'd make it a VERY firm rule that the pullup goes off immediately when
she wakes up. The rest of the routine can certainly wait! However, if
she's pushing back about showering in the morning, I'd let her know that
for HER the rules have changed. The rest of you, who bathe properly
after breakfast without a fuss, can wait. SHE, however, has lost that
privilege because she's not doing her part. Shower immediately on
waking up until she's ready to shower regularly without a fuss.

I'd also limit showers to 10 minutes unless she has a reason to be in
there longer. Lengthy showers are bad for the skin and for the
household water and heating budget!

Finally, since what you're experiencing now is a CHANGE in hygienic
behavior, you may want to investigate a bit to find out why the change
is happening. Is she depressed? Lonely? Did something happen?

I hope these suggestions help,
--Beth Kevles
bethkevles@aol.com
http://web.mit.edu/kevles/www/nomilk.html -- a page for the milk-allergic
Disclaimer: Nothing in this message should be construed as medical
advice. Please consult with your own medical practicioner.

NOTE: No email is read at my MIT address. Use the AOL one if you would
like me to reply.

R. Steve Walz · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 1906

Johhny K. wrote:
>
> Hello. I'm new here, and was hoping to get a bit of advice. My 11 year old
> daughter, Catherine, wets the bed, and wears goodnites to keep her sheets
> sdry. She's wet almost every day of her life. She word diapers until she
> was 4, then Pull-ups until she was 6, and has been in Goodnites ever since.
> We've tried a few treatments, but nothing helps. She just keeps peeing in
> them. She'll grow out of it ventually, but there's another problem.
>
> Catherine used to be good about changing when she woke up in the morning.
> She would take her wet goodnite off right away, get dressed for the day, and
> come down for breakfast. On the occasions when she leaked, she would put
> her sheets in the washer too. But, ever since school let out, things have
> changed.
>
> All summer, Catherine has been becoming less and less consientious about her
> personal hygene. For the most part, I'm not concerened. I make sure her
> clothes are clean, and that she bathes at least every other day, and she'll
> do it, at least grudgengly. But, her morning ritual is more difficult for
> me to take up the slack on. She no longer takes her goodnites off right
> away. She'll come down to breakfast in her nightclothes. I
-----------------------
Sick Troll. Don't respond.
Steve

Rosalie B. · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 1547

OGDENGONDOLA@WEBTV.NET wrote:

>
>
>Johhny K. wrote:
>> Hello. I'm new here, and was hoping to get a bit of advice. My 11 year old
>> daughter, Catherine, wets the bed, and wears goodnites to keep her sheets
>> sdry. She's wet almost every day of her life. She word diapers until she
>> was 4, then Pull-ups until she was 6, and has been in Goodnites ever since.
>> We've tried a few treatments, but nothing helps. She just keeps peeing in
>> them. She'll grow out of it ventually, but there's another problem.
>>
>> Catherine used to be good about changing when she woke up in the morning.
>> She would take her wet goodnite off right away, get dressed for the day, and
>> come down for breakfast. On the occasions when she leaked, she would put
>> her sheets in the washer too. But, ever since school let out, things have
>> changed.
>>
>> All summer, Catherine has been becoming less and less consientious about her
>> personal hygene. For the most part, I'm not concerened. I make sure her
>> clothes are clean, and that she bathes at least every other day, and she'll
>> do it, at least grudgengly. But, her morning ritual is more difficult for
>> me to take up the slack on. She no longer takes her goodnites off right
>> away. She'll come down to breakfast in her nightclothes. I constantly have
>> to remind Catherine to change if she's wet. You'd think being wet would be
>> uncomfy but she'll happily lounge around in a wet goodnite for hours on end
>> if I don't make her go change. Sometimes she even lies and says she's dry! I
>> don't know if she's being lazy, or if she just doesn't care, or what. I
>> don't say anything until after breakfast, because I cook and eat in my
>> pyjamas as well. I wait until after to tell her to go change, in fairness.

Perhaps YOU need to change the rules for both of you. Everyone has to
get dressed to come down to breakfast.

>> But, she'll complain that she doesn't want to. She'll sometimes lie, and
>> say she's not even wet, when her Goodnight is bulging through her pyjamas!
>> On occasion, she'll even be leaking a bit, and still doesn't wanna change.
>>
>> On the other hand, she's very hygenic in a few areas. She'll be in the
>> shower for 45 minutes sometimes. And when her boyfreind comes to visit, she
>> makes sure she's in clean clothes. But, that's about it.

I don't know about 45 minutes. I'd limit the showering time.

Barbara · Joined: 15 Aug 2007 Posts: 361

Beth Kevles wrote:
> Hi --
>
> One thing you might try at this point, since the weather is warm, would
> be a night without pullups. If she's wetting at a particular time of
> night, esp. if it's close to morning, put it to her that the pullups are
> a nuisance and would she like to try a night without them to see what
> happens. I recommend this because sometimes a child who has needed
> night pullups for a long time stays in them out of habit, rather than
> actual need. I know a child, for example, who NEEDED them through age
> about 9 1/2 but when faced with a night without pullups at age 10 1/4
> was able to stay dry, and has been dry almost every night since. The
> child in question didn't realize he COULD stay dry until he tried.
>
Just to add -- I believe his daughter is on the older side for
continued night wetness. He should ensure that her pediatrician is
aware of the problem, and that the pediatrician has concluded that
there are no physical issues that need to be addressed.

> About the hygiene ... you just have to be firm as a parent. The pullup
> gets thrown away immediately on getting out of bed. A shower must be
> taken right away. Don't be shy about saying to your daughter that she
> smells bad, and what if a friend were to drop by unexpectedly?
>
I don't know if I'd do that, since the wetting isn't anything she can
control (presumably). But I would institute a rule that everyone needs
to be showered (or washed) and dressed for the day with clean underwear
before coming to breakfast or other family areas of the home. No
singling out of this child or shaming her for her problem -- simply a
house rule about attire and hygiene.

(And is it me, or have we seen this one before?)

Barbara